6 & 7 WEEKS

 Our baby girl is 7 WEEKS OLD TODAY! As with my pregnancy, this is going by just as fast! =(

My PICC line has been out since last week and I am feeling much better. Riley is doing well..she is still in her expected baby routine of sleeping, eating, and pooping! We noticed that she is more awake and slightly playful, even showing us smiles, coos, and the occasional giggle in her sleep! (LOL its true!) She will play with us for a bit and then she lets us know when it is time to swaddle and put her to sleep! Her patterns and routines are becoming more familiar to us, which makes us happy as we are able to tend to her needs when she "tells" us! =)

As a NICU nurse and having cared solely for babies for seven years, I had thought that being a mom would come easy to me. The past month has showed me that being a mom isn't just about knowing how to change a diaper, feed her, or how to calm her down. Of course, I know there is so much more to being a mother than that, but when it came to taking care of my own baby, my nursing perception was thrown out of the door! She has tested me in so many ways and at times I felt as if I was not being a good mom because I couldn't read her cues right away or what she was trying to tell me she needed/wanted. However, I have come to learn that Riley is mine to care for and love for; that I have to be there for her to make sure everything she needs is given to her--- and that takes time. There will be a lot of learning and growing for the both of us...and there is no where else I would rather be doing.

After she turned six weeks old, Ryan and I decided we would slowly start taking her out after putting her on house arrest since coming home from the hospital. We have been keeping our visitors to the very minimum because we do not want to risk her getting sick again. I have especially been very strict and paranoid about it; we have put antibacterial bottles in every room of the house and we make sure every person who touches her has washed their hands. We took her out to a restaurant; she was asleep for the majority of the time and so she was a good girl! We have taken her to other places as well and we are looking forward to more outings with her, but we have already learned that taking her out with us is definitely a challenge!

Ryan went back to work yesterday and needless to say, it was difficult and emotional. I was more sad about it because he has been with us every single day for six and a half weeks. I am sure it was just as hard for him to leave as well. =(

My first day alone with her went well...she ate every three hours which allowed me to pump while she was asleep and do a few things around the house. My mom came in the late afternoon so I could shower and cook while she watched over Riley.

I am trying to take in every single day with her because it really is going by so fast. The lack of sleep, the dishevelment, and the roller coaster of emotions have been tough, but WORTH IT. I would not have it any other way right now and it is all because of this little girl of ours <3

During one of her naps, she kicked her legs out! lol

 My oldest and bestest friends Nikki and Monica came to visit. That is my PICC line on my right arm:

This is her face after bath time and crying because she hates baths! poor baby!

Our Riley burrito! She smells as good as she looks too! LOL

Riley in her Baby Bjorn for the first time:

Her first day out w mommy and daddy since her hospital stay (minus her doctor visit):

Tummy time:

Sleeping beauty:

love,
Riley <3

Mama P gets sick too...

As if we had not been through enough already, just less than a week of Riley being home I end up getting admitted as well!

Last Sunday night I was feeling pain on my left breast. I treated myself with warm compresses and also extra pumping to make sure I emptied my breasts well. I even attempted to breast feed Riley. After her feeding I continued having the pain, so I decided to lay down and rest it off. After about three hours it was still hurting and it was time to pump again. While I pumped I started having chills all over my body. I took two Ibuprofens and hopped into bed wearing sweats, a hoodies, and two blankets over me because I was freezing cold. When I woke up three hours later, my chills were gone but I felt super tired and weak. I pumped again and I still had breast pain; I thought I would have felt better after sleeping and pumping, but I just felt worse. Ryan took my temperature and I had a fever; on top of that I felt weak and short of breath. We called my mom and asked her to come over to watch Riley so Ryan could take me to the ER (this was at 4 am).

I was admitted and seen right away. They collected blood from me and I was given fluids through an IV. I was going to be sent home with oral antibiotics as the doctor diagnosed me with mastitis (infection of the breast tissue), but the infectious disease doctor at Kaiser wanted the ER doctor to admit me because I was displaying signs of sepsis/blood infection: fever, chills, increased heart rate, and my blood count was high even though they gave me a dose of antibiotics.

DEJA VU.

However, I only stayed in the hospital for a couple of days--- it was the worse two days. I had flu like symptoms, couldn't get out of bed without help, I went through FOUR IVs, my breast was swollen and red, I was on antibiotics, and I had to be away from Riley! =( I even missed her FIRST doctor's appointment. Needless to say, being a patient sucked! Thankfully, I did not have a blood infection (it was only mastitis). After two days, the doctor discharged me home, but I had to have a PICC line placed (a deep IV, like what Riley had when she was hospitalized) because I needed ten days of antibiotics three times a day on top of a second antibiotic every six hours! BUT I was able to go home and be with my baby.

I am one day away from finishing treatment. I have been to Kaiser seeing doctors and getting dressing changes on my PICC line every other day. Ryan and my mom took another week off from work to care for Riley and I. No one really knew of my hospitalization; it was enough to deal with Riley's and I didn't want to stress about telling everyone about it.

It has been one hell of a month and I am hoping and praying that this is it. No more hospital visits or getting sick. It is time to enjoy Riley and being a family <3

ONE MONTH OLD

Wow, we still can't believe it has already been a month since she came into our lives...and needless to say, WHAT A MONTH!

Despite Riley's two week hospital stay (poor baby spent half her life in the hospital), it has been a wonderful month thus far! We are continuing to adjust to being new parents...the one thing we definitely miss though is uninterrupted sleep! LOL But we have come to know her hunger cues and habits.

When I look at Riley it is still so surreal to me that she was growing inside of me. My love for her grows every time I look at her. She makes me so unbelievably happy and not a day goes by that I tell her that I love her...and I do, with every ounce of my being.

Ryan has definitely demonstrated how amazing of a father he is to Riley. He tends to her every need and he too falls in love with her every day. It is the most wonderful thing to see him be a dad to her and it makes me love him more and more.

Yesterday was my 29th birthday...and I have to say it definitely was my best birthday yet because Riley is in my life now. I kept it simple this year and had breakfast w Ryan and later, dinner with my family.

Riley has a doctor appointment tomorrow (a follow up from her hospital stay). When we left the hospital last week she weighed 8 lbs 5.5 ounces. She is growing so fast! I try to make every day with her memorable because obviously she is only a baby once and when she gets bigger, I know I will constantly wish she was still a tiny little human!

Here are some pictures to share with you all:


Family picture on my birthday..

I love cuddling with her..

The best birthday present..

 

 

Picture with my birthday twin/little sister Aileen and Riley of course..

Riley's one month pictures:

love,
Riley <3

Our Riley bear got sick =(

Riley's first month in this world has been filled with so many emotions...it has literally been a rollercoaster for us as a family!

To start, Riley's arrival was a complete surprise to all of us! Ryan's parents were still on their European vacation so needless to say, they missed her birth. However, it was still a memorable birth day for her as both of our families were ever present that day and on her homecoming two days later at our house. Ryan and I were on such a happy high over this little girl of ours, but the next morning brought about bad news from overseas...

We found out that Ryan's mom became sick while on their cruise. They were only a few days away from being back home to us, but my mom in law ended up being hospitalized for 10 days in Italy due to unexpected health issues. My sister in law flew there to be at her side and to aid her while she was in the hospital. The three of us spent the next week and half at my in laws house, while Ryan and his brother took to hosting nightly rosaries with the rest of the clan and texting/talking/emailing with the family overseas and doing the best that they could to help with anything here in the U.S. (i.e. coordinating with doctors, insurance, work, flights, etc). It became emotional for all of us, especially for Ryan. To think he was at his most happiest just a few days before and now he was at his most saddest. To make matters worse, a little over a week after the news of his mom Riley was admitted to the hospital at  just 12 days old (at this time, my mom in law was still in the hospital in Italy, but she arrived back here a few days into Riley's hospital stay) due to a blood infection and she required long term antibiotic treatment. Being a NICU nurse only made it worse...I was an emotional wreck and was now on the other side of my job: a mother. To think that the kinds of procedures that I personally did on other babies was now being done to my own child. I knew exactly what was going on in the treatment rooms they took her to have her blood drawn, start an IV, and get a spinal tap. It made me feel helpless and it made me sad that my baby was going through this =(

We were initially admitted to Kaiser Panorama City, but the pediatrician had us transferred to the PICU at Kaiser Sunset for "a higher level of care." Riley was a hard stick, meaning the nurses had difficulty placing an IV in her (they finally got one after an hour) and so the doctor felt it was best to take her to a hospital that had the equipment, staff, and the higher acuity of care to treat Riley if anything bad was to occur. We found out the next day that Riley was septic...turns out her blood culture was positive which required her to get treated with antibiotics. Doctors were unable to obtain any spinal fluid, which would have given us an idea as to how long her treatment would be (10 days for a blood infection or 14 days for meningitis). Since no one was able to get the fluid, the doctors felt it was best to treat her for a full 14 days as if she had meningitis.

Our stay in Kaiser was from August 20th to September 3rd (days 12 to 26 for Riley and coincidentally my due date!). It was the longest two weeks of our lives. Ryan and I literally lived there; we couldn't bear to be away from Riley, but our family came to visit and my mom was wonderful to come to the hospital on some days to watch Riley and relieve us so we could get out of the hospital. Ryan and I were constantly praying for Riley and halfway through our stay I came to realize that while being in this situation was probably one of the worse experiences to have to go through with our baby, the good thing that came out of it of it is that the three of us were together 24/7. We were able to be a family unit and we were able to constantly be with Riley in which we got to know her personality, her likes/dislikes, what kind of cries she has, etc. This was truly a test and a struggle for us as parents, but we got through it with God's grace. I also could not have done it without Ryan by my side; he has shown me how strong he is as a person and as my husband, but most importantly he showed me how wonderful and amazing he is as a father. I couldn't ask for anything more <3

We have been home since Tuesday afternoon; it has been so much better of course and we can tell that Riley is much more relaxed and happier to be at home. We are adjusting to being at home finally and we get to enjoy having daddy around for another week.


Here are some pictures that we took during Riley's hospital stay:

 

 

Picture of the three of us before finally going home:

 

Finally home with our sweet little love bug <3

 



love,

Riley <3

 

P.S. Thank you to all of our family and friends for your prayers and thoughts during Riley's stay in the hospital. Also, thank you for keeping Ryan and I fed and not letting us eat the hospital food lol!

 

 

 



SHE'S HERE!

Riley surprised all of us with her early arrival! She arrived less than 4 weeks early on August 8th 2013 at 5:10 pm. She weighed in at 6 pounds 13 ounces and 20 inches long!

Welcome our baby girl Riley Marie Pangilinan

 

 

My water broke at around 7:30 am when I sat up in bed to go to the bathroom. I jumped out of bed and yelled to Ryan "My water broke!" He was still asleep but all he can manage to say to was "No, it didn't..you're just peeing" LOL I ran to the bathroom to pee, but I noticed that the fluid kept coming out and not stopping especially when I would stand up. I knew for sure that this fluid wasn't just my pee and insisted we go straight to the hospital. Before we left, I decided to take a shower...then we grabbed our hospital bags (thankfully I had them packed already) and headed to the hospital, but we also decided to get some breakfast too because I knew they wouldn't allow me to eat if indeed my water was broken. LOL (And it was true, all I could eat was ice chips! I ate 12 hours later!)

 

We arrived at Kaiser around 8:30am and they put me in a delivery room so a nurse and doctor could assess me. The doctor confirmed that my water did break and I was admitted. They hooked me up to a monitor, collected blood, and started an IV and fluids on me. The doctor also did an ultrasound to make sure Riley's head was down and she checked to see if I was dilated (I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced). I requested to get an epidural and afterwards I was given a medication called Pitocin, so my labor contractions could start and would help with my delivery. Given that this is my first pregnancy (most first time moms are in labor for hours, even days!), Ryan and I figured we would deliver later that evening/night or early the next morning (even our nurse said the same thing!)

 

At this point, we started calling and texting our family and friends to inform them that I was in labor and baby p would be making her debut soon!

 

The Pitocin was definitely working and I could feel the contractions getting more frequent and intense. A midwife came in at about 4:15 pm and checked to see if I was dilated; I was now at 6 cm and still 50% effaced. So we figured again that maybe in about 4 hours I would deliver her...so she said to just hang out and let the medicine do its thing. AND DID IT! After she left I could feel the contractions getting more and more intense to the point that I was really uncomfortable. We tried changing my position and the nurse gave me an oxygen mask as well, but it was still not comfortable. Then all of a sudden I felt an urge to push, I had my sister call the nurse and tell her what I was feeling. When she walked in she could see on the monitor that my contractions were more frequent and then she told me to start pushing!!!!! (this was probably around 4:45pm at this point). The nurse called the mid wife back into the room and she checked me again..only half an hour passed and I was COMPLETELY dilated!

 

Ryan, my mom, my sister Sam, and Ryan's sister Jeanelle were in the delivery room with me. Every contraction I felt I pushed (it felt like the contractions were every 30-45 seconds)...while I had an epidural in and I couldn't feel the labor pains per say...the pressure was definitely unlike one I had ever felt before and the only way that made it feel better was pushing! Being in labor is just one of those experiences I really cannot describe...there was so much going on but all I could focus on was holding my breath and bearing down. I remember not liking it all and being really thirsty. LOL When she was delivered (I pushed for only 20 min I was told!), she cried and they took her straight to the warmer. After she came out, this rush of relief just ran through me and all the pain and pressure I felt was just gone...as if nothing happened! It was just so crazy! But everyone rushed over to Riley as the nurses warmed and dried her. Ryan was really emotional and my mom and sisters kept yelling about her nice lips and chubby cheeks. It was such a surreal moment.

 

When the nurse handed me Riley I was overwhelmed with joy, excitement, and pure love for this tiny little human. We fell in love all over again with her. She was ours the moment we met her <3

 

 

Here are some pictures to share:

 

 

Just after we were admitted

 

 

 

Here she is!

Two days later..going home!

 



 

 

love,

Riley <3

 

 

PS, I would like to continue writing in this blog for as long as possible. It is a great way to update all of our family and friends and for everyone to read and see her grow! Check in often!

 

 

 

 



36 WEEKS

4 more weeks to go everyone! Riley and I are still hanging in there despite my continuous decreasing level of comfort, especially in bed. I think her head is making its way down the birth canal because even though I get shortness of breath sometimes, it is a lot more tolerable and I can breathe a little more easier.

I miss not having to share my body, but I know that I will miss having Riley inside of me too. It is bittersweet.

Her kicks and punches continue to get stronger everyday. Apparently, she does have more room in there that I can still feel her at this point. There are a lucky few who have been able to feel and see her move too. =]

While I was at work on Monday, I asked a doctor if she could do an ultrasound on me because I wanted to make sure Riley’s head was down (one of the doctors I worked with said there is possibility of a baby flipping around), which is the ideal position for a baby to be in at this point. According to the doctor, she said the baby’s head is down (YAY!) and that the amount of amniotic fluid that surrounds her is normal (meaning I don’t have too much or too little). I also asked her if she could measure her and it turns out Riley is ABOUT 6 pounds and 11 ounces, which the doctor says is normal! If I carry her to term, she might be born at 8 pounds!!! EEK! It is good to know she is healthy, but all I could think of is I might get lacerations when I deliver her (and if I do it vaginally). That gets me even more anxious about her delivery! =/ I am still set on getting that epidural for sure though!

About a week ago or so I started developing stretch marks!!!!! I was so upset because I was doing so well and rubbing cocoa butter on my tummy religiously. I hope they go away afterwards..they are mostly under my belly button and faint ones on the side of my belly. BOO! 

I had a doctor appointment today..everything looks good and miraculously I only gained one pound from the last time I saw her two weeks ago. However, I have to start doing fetal non-stress testing every week and seeing a doctor every week until I deliver. She is concerned about my weight gain and wants to make sure it doesn't affect the baby towards the end of my pregnancy (when babies tend to get more stressed). Up to this point I have gained about 35 pounds...which is considered average but based on what my BMI was before apparently it is too much =\ I am content with the weight I have gained thus far, but if this is going to ensure Riley's health and safety then of course I will do it. 

The wall decals are up and they look really good! Ryan did such a good job putting it up. I am continuing to organize her room more. Everything seems to be in order, we are just waiting for the rocker/glider to be delivered. I ordered a part of her going home outfit online. The bassinet is all set up as well. Most of her clothes are washed and folded. All we really need is Riley! :)

With less than four weeks left my anxiety and excitement level is going up! I just can't wait to have her here already and for everyone to meet her! 

Here is this week's belly picture:

Week 33 to 36 belly pic collage:

Ryan putting the wall decals up:

Yep they are an elephant and lion! What else would they be?! lol

love,

baby p <3

35 WEEKS

HOLY MOLY! The last few weeks are upon us and I am feeling so pregnant at this point...

-Major waddling
-Tired
-Shortness of breath
-Lots of pressure on my bladder
-Frequent urination

My belly button hasn't popped out as of this week, but for some reason my belly button has been sore as heck, especially when I touch it =/

We ordered a rocker/glider for Riley's room that we will hopefully receive in the middle of August. This weekend we will plan to put up her wall decals we ordered and some shelves on the wall as well. We aren't planning to paint her room, but I used a lot of the decorations from the baby showers to decorate it. I washed half of the clothes she received from the showers so I just need to organize that and her other presents she got. The goal this week is to also pack up our hospital bags (mine, Ryan's, and Riley's), install the car seat and stroller, and set up the pack n play (bassinet). At this point, I am starting to feel very anxious about the delivery and what is to come afterwards. I am so excited to meet her but I know how much life is going to change for me and Ryan--- in a good way of course. I guess I am more concerned about being a good mother to her.

This week's belly pic:

 

 

love,

baby p <3