My PICC line has been out since last week and I am feeling much better. Riley is doing well..she is still in her expected baby routine of sleeping, eating, and pooping! We noticed that she is more awake and slightly playful, even showing us smiles, coos, and the occasional giggle in her sleep! (LOL its true!) She will play with us for a bit and then she lets us know when it is time to swaddle and put her to sleep! Her patterns and routines are becoming more familiar to us, which makes us happy as we are able to tend to her needs when she "tells" us! =)
As a NICU nurse and having cared solely for babies for seven years, I had thought that being a mom would come easy to me. The past month has showed me that being a mom isn't just about knowing how to change a diaper, feed her, or how to calm her down. Of course, I know there is so much more to being a mother than that, but when it came to taking care of my own baby, my nursing perception was thrown out of the door! She has tested me in so many ways and at times I felt as if I was not being a good mom because I couldn't read her cues right away or what she was trying to tell me she needed/wanted. However, I have come to learn that Riley is mine to care for and love for; that I have to be there for her to make sure everything she needs is given to her--- and that takes time. There will be a lot of learning and growing for the both of us...and there is no where else I would rather be doing.
After she turned six weeks old, Ryan and I decided we would slowly start taking her out after putting her on house arrest since coming home from the hospital. We have been keeping our visitors to the very minimum because we do not want to risk her getting sick again. I have especially been very strict and paranoid about it; we have put antibacterial bottles in every room of the house and we make sure every person who touches her has washed their hands. We took her out to a restaurant; she was asleep for the majority of the time and so she was a good girl! We have taken her to other places as well and we are looking forward to more outings with her, but we have already learned that taking her out with us is definitely a challenge!
Ryan went back to work yesterday and needless to say, it was difficult and emotional. I was more sad about it because he has been with us every single day for six and a half weeks. I am sure it was just as hard for him to leave as well. =(
My first day alone with her went well...she ate every three hours which allowed me to pump while she was asleep and do a few things around the house. My mom came in the late afternoon so I could shower and cook while she watched over Riley.
I am trying to take in every single day with her because it really is going by so fast. The lack of sleep, the dishevelment, and the roller coaster of emotions have been tough, but WORTH IT. I would not have it any other way right now and it is all because of this little girl of ours <3
During one of her naps, she kicked her legs out! lol
This is her face after bath time and crying because she hates baths! poor baby!
Our Riley burrito! She smells as good as she looks too! LOL
Riley in her Baby Bjorn for the first time:
Her first day out w mommy and daddy since her hospital stay (minus her doctor visit):
Tummy time:
Sleeping beauty:
love,
Riley <3
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